searching for my sabbath

Thursday is my off day. Well, I say off day because its the one day I desperately try to keep uncluttered. Basically I opt out of everything that is non-essential and lay around the house all day.

Well, thats the idea. And if a particularly enquisitive person asks me why I can't make that regularly scheduled activity, I throw God into the picture. Who can argue when I say, "Its my Sabbath"?

As you could guess, this causes some problems for me...

First, I don't know if I'm being honest when I say its my sabbath. I know the sabbath is a day of rest, and I know God commands us (doesn't recommend gently, but commands) to observe it. But truthfully, how much is God in my sabbath? Am I resting? Or avoiding work? I don't think the divine command has anything to do with accepting the 9 to 5 mentality that so many other jobs can maintain. Being a pastor is not one of those jobs...

Second, I fudge it all the time. Hence the fact I went into the office this morning. Hence the fact I have a small group this evening at 6:30. Hence the fact that I'll answer calls, check emails, and sometimes work on my sermon on Thursday. And I don't know if its fudging, but I'll clean up the house, run errands, or even... *gasp* wash clothes on Thursday. Its like a divine laundry day.

Third, as much as I love people, Thursday has become a haven for me and I seem to avoid people at all costs. Why is this a problem? Because if there is a serious pressing matter that someone brings to my attention, I have a tendency to hold it against them. I know I know, this is bad...and un-Christian of me.**No joke, I just had a thought that "Oh my, someone will read this and not want to bother me on Thursday, and I sure hope they know they can." And if you do call me, I'll probably hold it against you. **I just had another thought that I'm going to get in trouble with someone for not being a quivering mass of availability.** Seriously...call me if you need me. No, I mean it.

You see? I need a sabbath. I'm looking forward to the day that my significant other and I can lounge around together and that will be more "godly" as it is impossible to be in her presence and not have to reflect on the greatness, challenge, and love of the all-mighty creator. I also look forward to the day when my sabbath will be exactly what God wants it to be...a day set aside for rest in his presence.

I hope you have more success than I am having. Apparently I'm still searching for my sabbath. Maybe I could read my bible a little more? Praying some sounds like a good idea...

but truthfully (I feel like I'm saying that a lot lately) that all feels like work almost. Forgive me Jesus! I hope when you want to spend time with me on Thursday I won't turn you down.

Seriously, call me if you need me. Or don't, I'll get back to you tomorrow.