Okay, I have my first new years resolution.
Resolution #1 - I will not make excuses anymore.
As if I need to defend myself. But let me explain - I don't want to justify myself all over the place anymore. I want my yes to be yes and my no to be no. Everything else comes from the devil, apparently. So really this resolution is two-fold. First, I want to unravel all the stuff going on in my head. Justification? Sure. But not without a good bit of asking whether I'm just too lazy and I'm making an excuse. Second, I want to be more truthful. Call it clarity - I want people to be able to see right through me.
I won't make excuses about God's love and my shortcomings at sharing that. He's too good and I'm too clumsy to play games any more. Time to get serious.
I won't make excuses about my lack of physical, mental, and spiritual upkeep. Anything short of a good effort is...well...an excuse. ha!
I won't make excuses about the failures of the Church or try to downplay death. People are hurting out there and only the Body of Christ can meet them there. When we succeed - Glory to God! When we don't...well, lets be honest, shall we?
I will defend myself less and encourage others more.
Basically, I want to start my year with a prayer by St. Francis of Assisi -
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.