blah and then some

So I had planned this fun post about how I dislike Christian Tracts (did you know, I love Jesus though?) but I'm still working on it.  Can I vent for just a sec?

Look, I've let this whole blogging thing really get to me.  I dove head first into all these new arenas of the internet, and I don't think its really come out like I planned.  Where did I go wrong? is my deal.  I'll focus mainly on the portals that I use and enjoy, to give some focus.

First, there is dear old facebook.  Oh, how you've changed for me, facebook.  I used to love oogling my friends every move but now it is just a big contact list.  Seriously - I use you when I need to find someone, but I don't spend hours and hours on there anymore.  Its a great networking too, but not something I want to hang out on and talk up a storm with people (present company excluded, of course).  I don't think I'm alone - the whole 25 things about you craze was kind of the pinnacle of Facebook's capabilities.

Then there is my google reader.  What began as an endeavor to read other wonderful blogs has turned into a chore.  I have 112 subscriptions that I keep up with - one day (2/25 actually) there were over 300 posts.  Thats like a newspaper and a half.  Not fun.  I need to scale back - I need to cull, but I'm afraid I'll miss something.  But far worse than just feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of content, I also start comparing my blog to the amazing stuff I find across the internets.

Which has really hurt this, my blog.  Rather than writing what I want to write, when I want to write it, I'm trying to get noticed.  I'm trying to make a post a day.  Well blah to that.  Its hurt my ability to just enjoy blogging.  And its time for it to stop.  Somewhere along the line I decided that a blog should look and act a certain way.  And while I certainly feel there should be a measure of quality to this, I'm pretty sure I can't force myself into it.

This is where I turn to myself in the mirror and say, "I'm smart enough, and I'm good enough, and dog-gonnit, people like me."

But that would not give credit where credit is due - twitter.  I have been enjoying the tidbits of information coming from people.  It isn't overwhelming.  Sure, there are good tweets and bad tweets - but its much easier for me to churn out quality updates there than a decent blog article.

So yeah.  My creative energies have been going elsewhere.  Don't worry, I plan to keep blogging, I'm just hoping to release myself from this desire to always have something good all the time.