Sometimes it seems we need to remind ourselves that where we sit is not where we should be. So I offer these prayers tonight:
I believe you want everyone to know you perfectly, help my unbelief.
Every person is worthy of redemption. There are gray areas where I hem and haw and say that there is no hope. Nonsense! The second I think someone else is beyond salvation is the second I separate my reality from God's. Sometimes my unbelief is directed at others but the worst is when I direct it at myself. The road may be long but just because my brain can't fathom a different path or a greater alternative doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.
I believe my worth is found in God, help my unbelief.
Who doesn't compare themselves to others? Who doesn't rely on kind words from strangers or criticism from friends? Where do I get off thinking that somehow those change God's joy in my pursuit of Jesus' face? When pride boils up only to be crushed under unfathomable anxiety or worry - is this a bad thing? It only serves to expose my insecurities and God's amazing love. Sometimes I wish I didn't know what others thought - but that would close so many avenues for God to share Jesus' amazing love to me.
I believe I am loved, help my unbelief.
I'm not perfect. In my mistakes, in my weakness, in my sins, and in my hurts - I am loved. Do I have to say it over and over to myself because I don't believe it, or because I'm trying to drown out the other voices in my head? Neither negates your presence. Where can I go from your presence? If I go into heaven, you're there. In the depths I can't get away from you. If I go to the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me. Your right hand will hold me fast.
I believe you are God, help my unbelief.
Where is the center of my world and where is the authority? Do I have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change? Do I have the courage to change the things that should be changed? God, for the love of all that is holy give me the wisdom to know the difference. May your serenity be my own. May your courage be my own. Help me stop trying to be God.
I believe you hear me, help my unbelief.
You have some massive ears. Bigger than Tommy Tuberville's. A bruised reed you will not break. In your gentleness and in your steadfast love may I find the creator of the universe quieting my despair, hate, and fear. Trade them for hope, faith, and love.
I believe, help my unbelief.